TRIBUTES

Night started to pull it's dark blanket over the Kulam (pond) and the surroundings as I sat on the last step of a flight of granite steps leading to the dark, cold waters, dipping my feet in to it. From a distance I could hear the low sound of the TV sops and the voices of children and relatives watching TV at home. How long I had been sitting here? I do not know. I have been completely engulfed by the solitude surrounding this Kulam. Now as darkness falls it takes a still different shape of mystery and unearthliness.

Huge and old Areca and coconut trees surrounding the Kulam gave a Jurassic atmosphere as darkness descended over them. In the day light their inverted shadows used to sway like huge anacondas as wind created little ripples in the Kulam. Little fishes tingling my feet reminded me of the Piranhas in Phantom comics which I used to read with passion in my childhood. A water snake came swaying towards my feet and suddenly turned away, perhaps sensing a human.

Lights and the sound of the TV coming from the House suddenly vanished. Power cuts are frequent in the village. Thick darkness engulfed the universe. Through the gap over the Kulam I could see the haze of the clouded, starless sky. Only fire files with their little lights moved smoothly through the air.

Now from the far end of the farm bamboo fence, I could see a light slowly walking towards me. Beyond the farm fence was a large expanse of paddy fields called Ariyanippadam. In the middle ofAriyanippadam there is a marshy patch which will not be dry even in the most grueling summers. From the childhood stories that Kunhukuttan Ammavan told, a demon called Potti Pishachu travels in the area during solitary hours of the night. Fire balls will come out as it opens it's mouth. Several people had seen it. Now the light moving towards me .....is it Potti Pishachu?

As the light drew nearer I could see it was a person holding a lantern. He held a long stick too in hand. He was wearing only a Thorthumundu (Towel). I sat stunned unable to move or raise my voice. It was Ponnambala Tharakan! But...but..Ponnambalan had died at least twenty years ago..! Now in this night..how..

Suddenly the window of the house facing the Kulam opened with a noise.
"Ponnambala....are you there? Have you not finished your bath yet? We people have to go to bed after giving you food.We have to get up early in the morning...come soon..."

It was the voice of Parukutti Elayamma.I could recognize her voice even now ....fifteen years after her death! Now what is happening? My logic was un able to comprehend. Or have I been taken back to twenty or twenty five years back through a time machine?

2
Grand Father sat on the steps in front of the house listening to the Ramayana recital of Grand mother in the after noon. Summer heat was simmering outside. Tile roofing and wooden ceiling work of the old house insulated the interiors from the scorching heat to a large extent. Near to Grand Father, Kunhukuttan Ammavan, Senior Karyastan (Supervisor of farm, house etc) also stood looking at the workers making hay heap. First crop had just been taken and the entire courtyard around the house was spread with hay for drying and keeping in heaps.

"Rain clouds are gathering from the East. Quickly make the hay stack..". Kunhukuttan Ammaman called out to the workers.

Ponnambalan came from the side of the house with a cow and calf. He was wearing his eternal dress of thorthu. His loin cloth was visible through it as always. He carried a stack of fodder on his shoulders.
"See the time this fellow is bringing the cow! Now after his lunch when is he going to give it food and when is he going to milk it?" Kumhukuttan said prompting Grand Father to scold him. There were three Karyastans in the house. Kunjukuttan Ammaman, Narayanan Ammaman and Ponnambala Tharakan. All were chronic batchlers. While we children were taught to call the first two Ammaman (Uncle), Ponnambalan was taught to be called by his caste name, tharakan. Why? This had puzzled me in later life and I had a little bit of regret too about it. Ponnambalan being the Junior of the three Karyastans and in charge of cattle and internal matters was looked upon with a down cast air by the other two Karyastans who were in charge of paddy cultivation.

" Ponnambala...." Grand Father almost shouted, "why are you so late?”. Grand Father was respected and to some extent feared by all in the house. But Ponnambalan ignored the question and continued to guide the cow to it's shed.

"All so long you had been eating...are you not satisfied yet?" He shouted at the cow which made an attempt to pull hay from the stack that the workers were making.

"Dhikkari..!" Remarked Kunhukuttan.

That was the man - Ponnambalan. Never caring for anybody; even if it is his employer. His day always started early. When we children wake up in the morming, Ponnambalan will be milking the cows in the shed. The sound of milk spikes hitting the bell metal pot will add to the symphony by chirping birds in the morning. Most of his free time was spent in a small betel vine garden. Though Grand Father and Kunhukuttan ammaman required betel leaves it was often purchased from Ramaru Chettiar's shop in Madanassery Angady. Still Ponnambalan toiled with spade in the garden sometimes morning to night as if God has destined this as his life mission. Often food was forgotten in the process resulting in angry calls from Grand Mother and parukutty Elayamma.

Twice in a day Ponnambalan was to have a show of strength with a giant Grinding stone - immediately after lunch for grinding the cotton seeds for cattle and in the night for preparing batter for idly which was the permanent breakfast item in the menu of the house. These were the two jobs he did as a transcendental meditation loudly reciting some bhajans. At the end of the first shift he will carry the food and water to the shed and feed each cattle talking to them sitting in the manger. While one cow drank from the pot, the next animal will lick his hairy back with their scrubber like tongue.
"Ente muduku polinhoolo...!" (My back is broken..!).He will complain to the licking animal while caressing its face and removing ticks.

Visit to Mother's house was an occasion we earnestly looked to during the summer vacation. Ponnambalan had a crucial role to play in this annual ritual. Mother's house was in a very remote place and one had to walk about four kilometers through labyrinthine lanes after getting down from the bus, which itself was rare. And to catch the bus one had to walk another four kilometers. Ponnambalan and another young neighbor Ramakrishnan's role was to carry the two children when they were tired of walking. And both the children wanted to overtake the other by his carrier. While Ramakrishnan always kept his lead thanks to his young age, Ponnambalan came in for brutal attacks from the little rider for trailing behind. With tears in my eyes let me thank you ,Ponnambala Ammama, for not throwing the little devil down the labyrinth and walking back.

One day as I sat on the Kulakkadavu, Ponnambalan took a dip in the tank and started drying his body. I could see that age had started showing it's tiredness on his body.

"My ship is broken...Kuttee " he said." I am getting old and I looked forward to Chamy and wife to look after me...But now..." He left unfinished. Chamy, his brother had come in the morning. He had brought the sad news of the mental illness of his wife. I remembered Achamma, Parukutty Elayamma and all listening to the news with their index fingers placed on their nose.

"Don't worry...we are there for you..." Did I say that? No..I don't think. All along my life story had been not saying the right thing at the right time....Not repaying love and affection with love and affection.

Years later Grand mother, Achamma was laid immobile due to paralysis. In her delirium state she called out Ponnambalan and her sister Parukutty Elayamma through out day and night. As her children and grand children tried to sleep with a prick of conscience else where in the house, Ponnambalan and Parukutty Elayamma nursed her round the clock.

Ponnambalan was not well when I was leaving for a leisure trip to Pondicherry where I had some friends. He had consulted our village Doctor and was taking his medicines. I went in to his room and said good bye. "Take care of yourself". He told me.

After one week I came home after my tour. I sensed some oddity the moment I entered the gate. Our neighbor lady was coming from the cow shed after feeding the cows...Betel vine garden wore a gloomy look...Where is Ponnambalan? My mind suspected the worst.

"He developed chest pain and was taken to a hospital in town.....But could not save him.." I sat still unable to comprehend the reality. I thought about the the fears of old age that Ponnambalan carried in his mind even as he toiled for our family. Now he has left without waiting for the care of his brother or any body for that matter...

Years later I sat with my parents on the banks of Ganges in Varanasi. They were performing the rituals for the salvation of bygone ancestors. At one stage the Panditji guiding them announced,” Now you can bring to mind memories of any of the relatives or friends who have passed away and perform the rituals for their salvation...".

"Ponnambala Tharakan,Narayanammaman,Kunhukuttammaman..." I murmured to my father who nodded confirming that he has already remembered them.

Ganges flowed quietly, it's blue waters dissolving in the distant fog. The transcendental sound of conch raised from the Kedarnath temple behind us followed by ringing of bells. My mind became serene with the feeling of Ponnambalan and others achieving salvation.....